Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

play-outside

Being born in the late 50s and raised in the 60s I often find myself having conversations with other baby boomers (people born during the demographic post-World War II baby boom between the years 1946 and 1964) about simpler times. All baby boomers will agree, much has changed since then. I’ve always felt that the digital age has ruined children. It amazes me on Christmas day that we don’t see more young people out and about riding new bicycles, skateboards and the like. When I was a child my siblings and I couldn’t wait to get outside to play.  We might stop in for a brief bologna sandwich but we were right back outside playing, and we wouldn’t come in until it was dinner time or the street lights came on, whichever came first. I credit the childhood obesity problem to this new digital platform. Game Boys, Xbox, Nintendo, IPads and flat screen TVs in their bedrooms.

This Ecard made me laugh because it’s true. “When I was 10 – Outside was the best thing for play.” So here’s to all of you who remember the good ole days when outside was all you had to play with. Our children have no clue how wonderful that really was.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

There are two theories to winning an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Change is the only thing that will make things different.

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In case of an emergency, notify:”, I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?

If the grass looks greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is a lot higher too.

Laughter is so good for the soul!

About Stripper Poles

Posted: October 10, 2012 in Humor
Tags: ,

CAUTION: You may want a professional to install your stripper pole before using it. Ouccccch! Brain damage comes to mind.

Open Letter to President Obama

Posted: October 6, 2012 in Humor
Tags: , ,

Dear President Obama:

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America ‘s economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million each as severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings –

(Unemployment fixed)

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered-

(Auto Industry fixed)

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage –

(Housing Crisis fixed)

It can’t get any easier than that!

If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes…

SIGNED, THE PEOPLE

(You might chuckle at this, but when you think about it closely, it could work.)