I discovered YouBetterPreach dot com from Facebook. It’s actually refreshing to find a man dispensing such valuable information for women. What we deal with, and this goes for both men and women, is often tied to our own issues of self-worth. If you’re not getting what you want in the relationship, don’t blame the other party, take a look in the mirror. I’ll continue to say it: “We teach people how to treat us.” (Dr. Phil gets the credit for the quote) Isn’t it time to get off the clearance rack?
Hello All, First let me say it’s good to be back to WordPress. It’s been awhile and all I can say is LIFE HAPPENS! I’m sure I’ll blog about it soon but for now i wanted to carry on with my Thought Provoking series. I ran across a really cool Pinterest page called “We All Need Saving Sometimes” Lots of thought provoking quotes there. This one caught my attention and I don’t even need to elaborate on it. The message is perfectly clear.
In 1983 Galway Kinnell won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry. I’ve read a few of his collections in awe. I ran across these words from him and it really touched me.
I’ve written so many pieces about love and how right and wrong it can be. Mr. Kinnell’s words actually make a lot of sense to me. I love the line: “If you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong.”
I’ve often written the words, we attract who we are. You may have been in relationships where you totally grew to hate or severely despise the other person. Why? Because some of that very behavior we despise in another person is within us. We attract and are attracted to people who cause us to take a deeper look at ourselves. I’ve always maintained that God put certain men (and people) in my life to teach me some valuable lessons. If you take the time to sit back and think on past relationships with honesty, you’ll realize that person showed you things about yourself that you needed to know. It may have been painful but the lesson was there to learn. For me, that’s what Mr. Kinnell means by wrong in some complimentary way.
In loving someone else we can only give what we have. Period! We can’t give them what we don’t have. We also can’t be for them what they aren’t. The bible refers to it as being unevenly yoked. I refer to it as loving equally. When it’s not equal there will always be someone who has more power. There will be someone who gives more. The only place that leads — is to resentment. So how do you know if you’re in an equal loving relationship?
When you know within your heart that everything you have and can do, your partner already has and can do for him or herself.
No one comes without static cling. We’re all flawed. It’s literally impossible to find someone who has every single thing we desire in life. I guess the idea in this piece from Mr. Kinnell is accurate, we find that special person who is wrong for us in just the right way and our scars fall in love. If done with an open heart and complete honesty, we heal those scars through love.
What do his words mean to you? Please share.
Like you, throughout my life, I’ve had some disappointments with jobs, relationships, family and friends. I’ve been in the “pit” when I felt so low I wondered if I would ever smile again. Like Lucille Ball says, “You have to keep busy and make optimism a way of life.” It’s easier said than done but whenever I find myself going to a dark place because of some life event – I’ve learned to busy myself. Go for a walk, clean out your closet, bake a cake or volunteer your free time. What you can’t do is wallow in self-pity. If you focus only on what’s bringing you down, it will keep you down.
This lovely quote can be attributed to Dr. Mitchell Perry, a psychotherapist.
I’ve always felt that judgment is one trait that all humans share. It’s ugly, but we do it. We all know someone who judges others constantly, with vigor, and others who simply make snap judgments. I personally believe we judge other people by the way we perceive ourselves.
What irritates me is for a person to judge a “situation” they themselves have never encountered. Years ago I worked with a woman who judged everyone for everything. (She was a miserable person. We’ll call her Miss Judgment.) Another woman who also worked with us had been very ill and out on sick leave a lot. She came back from one of her sick leaves with a different appearance. She had on a shiny blonde wig. Miss Judgment took one look at her and blurted out: “Why does she have that ugly wig on? You can tell it’s a wig! She looks silly! I would never wear a wig!” I looked her straight in her face and said, “This is not a known fact but she has battled cancer which is why she has been out so much this year.” Miss Judgment’s total expression changed and she felt bad but it didn’t stop her from continuing to judge others. Some people are really that miserable. The only way they can feel good about themselves is to constantly judge and pull others apart.
I’m making a diligent effort to not judge what I don’t know. We all have different situations, different upbringings, different environments and different issues. I read a statement from someone once on judging and he said it’s an “undo-it-yourself-project”.
So perhaps the next time you find yourself in a situation where you’re judging someone’s situation that you’ve never encountered, you’ll remember this wonderful quote and you won’t do it.
Being born in the late 50s and raised in the 60s I often find myself having conversations with other baby boomers (people born during the demographic post-World War II baby boom between the years 1946 and 1964) about simpler times. All baby boomers will agree, much has changed since then. I’ve always felt that the digital age has ruined children. It amazes me on Christmas day that we don’t see more young people out and about riding new bicycles, skateboards and the like. When I was a child my siblings and I couldn’t wait to get outside to play. We might stop in for a brief bologna sandwich but we were right back outside playing, and we wouldn’t come in until it was dinner time or the street lights came on, whichever came first. I credit the childhood obesity problem to this new digital platform. Game Boys, Xbox, Nintendo, IPads and flat screen TVs in their bedrooms.
This Ecard made me laugh because it’s true. “When I was 10 – Outside was the best thing for play.” So here’s to all of you who remember the good ole days when outside was all you had to play with. Our children have no clue how wonderful that really was.
One thing that’s certain about life is its ability to teach you who you are. Life knows what you are capable of! The only reason life has taken the time to point out your shortcomings is because Life wants to teach you who you are. I’ve always been a firm believer that these lessons will continue to come back around until we get them right.
Make a vow right now that in 2013 you will be devoted to stopping the things that do not honor who you are and who Life wants you to be.
I’m always reflective during this time of the year. I tend to quiet myself with a mental assessment of the current year and what I’d like to do differently in the New Year, or better yet, how I can challenge myself. I outgrew the resolution roller coaster in my 30s. For me, it’s a waste of energy and too much pressure. You know, the “I’m going to lose 20 lbs, exercise more, stop swearing, save more money, go to the gas station before the gas light comes on..”
What I do instead — I ask God for things. Not things in a material sense but things that I feel I need to be a better person. For example, last year I asked for DISCIPLINE. Like many of you I procrastinate. The year before that I asked for BALANCE. You get the idea. Every year I ask for something else.
So am I more disciplined and balanced than I was before I asked for those things? At times I am. When I find myself falling off the wagon I simply restate my vision and keep one foot in front of the other.
How are you living?
I can really relate to this. Can you?
Wishing you many reasons to be thankful not only on Thanksgiving day but always.
Thank you for your support.
May you find many reasons to be Thankful.