Posts Tagged ‘Love & Relationships’

“We have to treat people like we want to be treated and not like we’ve been mistreated. “

There is no higher joy than giving without asking anything in return, especially when we give unconditional love.

Selfishness divides us and we claim superiority over one another in the name of love.  Why we have problems loving is because we make love too restrictive.  It has too many rules, regulations and expectations.  Spiritual love is not about tradition and sentiment.  Spiritual love is about truth, trust, acceptance and a willing faith.  It’s about seeing God through another person and allowing God to love us through another person.

 Love can escape the restrictive boxes in which we contain it.

 I can’t complete the picture for someone else. I’m not that strong or Godly.  The purpose of relationship is not to have another person complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.  Love is a passion which does not take into consideration any reward, utilization or return. It’s Spiritual, clothed in total acceptance

It can be difficult to let go of some of the baggage we carry around with us from one relationship to the next but we need to let it go. Otherwise we will be let go.  You can’t start the engine of a new vehicle with the key from your former vehicle.

A relationship needs a foundation and two willing builders. The outside of a person tells us nothing about what is inside.  We must begin to look at people from the inside out instead of the outside in.  That’s why so many people are living lonely lives.  Choosing love is not like choosing fruit.  The cantaloupe might be smooth on the outside but once you cut it open it’s bitter.  The cantaloupes that have the lumps and bumps are usually the ones that are the sweetest.  (read that again!)

Love blossoms where differences are respected and people are allowed to be themselves, rather than something that someone else wants or needs them to be. I can’t be everything for you because I have a hard enough time being enough for myself.  Sometimes we don’t have all the answers.  Sometimes we’re wrong. We must learn to give up the need to be right.  There is no right or wrong…it just is!  That is the essence of spiritual love.

We all have an inherent need to merge with those we love. But we simultaneously desire the comfort of detachment. Love requires a certain amount of freedom.  You don’t have to stop living just because you are sharing a life with another person. Spiritual love is not caged.

God is attempting to show us the essence of Spiritual Love.  It’s all around us if we would only open our hearts to it.  Sometimes we have to take risks.  We have to step out on faith.  How can we reach out to each other if we aren’t courageous enough to let others see who we really are and what we need?   

“……………but the greatest of these is LOVE”

1 Corinthians 13

(c) 2005

 

respect-youI discovered YouBetterPreach dot com from Facebook. It’s actually refreshing to find a man dispensing such valuable information for women.  What we deal with, and this goes for both men and women, is often tied to our own issues of self-worth.  If you’re not getting what you want in the relationship, don’t blame the other party, take a look in the mirror. I’ll continue to say it: “We teach people how to treat us.” (Dr. Phil gets the credit for the quote)  Isn’t it time to get off the clearance rack?

“Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speed-ball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement.
Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore — despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, got-damn it, because he used to give it to you for free.

distraught-woman-Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have ‘that thing’ even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes.

So that’s it! You have now reached infatuation’s final destination– the complete and merciless devaluation of self.”

Author – Elizabeth Gilbert

I’d like to know what book this excerpt came from.   I ran across it this morning on the internet and thought it was so POWERFUL I just had to share it.   Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of several books, most notably, Eat, Pray, Love.

The message is very clear:  DON’T DEVALUE YOURSELF IN THE NAME OF LOVE.

“We have to treat people like we want to be treated – not like we’ve been mistreated.”

There is no higher joy than giving without asking anything in return, especially when we give unconditional love.

Selfishness divides us and we claim superiority over one another in the name of love. Why we have problems loving is because we make love too restrictive. It has too many rules, regulations and expectations. Spiritual love is not about tradition and sentiment. Spiritual love is about truth, trust, acceptance and a willing faith. It’s about seeing God through another person and allowing God to love us through another person.

It’s time to release love from those restrictive boxes.  I can’t complete the picture for someone else. I’m not that strong or Godly. The purpose of relationship is not to have another person complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.

Love is a passion which doesn’t take into consideration any reward, utilization or return. It’s Spiritual – wrapped in total acceptance.

It can be difficult to let go of some of the baggage we carry around with us from one relationship to the next but we need to let it go. Otherwise we will be let go. You can’t start the engine of a new vehicle with the key from your former vehicle.

A relationship needs a foundation and two willing builders.  The outside of a person tells us nothing about what’s inside. We should look at people from the inside out instead of the outside in. That’s why so many people are living lonely lives. Choosing love is not like choosing fruit. The cantaloupe might be smooth on the outside but once you cut it open it’s bitter. The cantaloupes that have the lumps and bumps are usually the ones that are the sweetest.   (read that again!)

Love blossoms where differences are respected and people are allowed to be themselves, rather than something that someone else wants or needs them to be. I can’t be everything for you because I have a hard enough time being enough for myself.  Sometimes we don’t have all the answers. Sometimes we’re wrong.  We need to learn to give up the need to be right. There is no right or wrong…it just is!  For me, that is the essence of spiritual love.

We all have an inherent need to merge with those we love. But we simultaneously desire the comfort of detachment. Love requires a certain amount of freedom. You don’t have to stop living just because you’re sharing a life with another person.  Spiritual love can never be caged.

God is attempting to show us the essence of Spiritual Love. It’s all around us if we would only open our hearts to it. Sometimes we have to take risks. We have to step out on faith. How can we reach out to each other if we aren’t courageous enough to let others see who we really are and what we need?

“……………but the greatest of these is LOVE”
1 Corinthians 13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.   – 1st Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

This bible verse has saved my sanity! When I first read it many years ago, I recall making the statement “If God doesn’t give us more than we can bear – he must think the world of me.”

I use to be an excessive worrier. I worried to the point of losing sleep. I worried so much I developed irritable bowel syndrome. I’m sure you’re aware, the things we worry about never seem to happen and the things that happen unexpectedly are things we probably wouldn’t have worried about in the first place.

The next time you’re out driving in your car think about this, “Why do the roads curve?” “Why can’t roads all be straight?” In every city the streets go up and down or around corners. Those curved roads are a great metaphor for life.

My six year marriage was tumultuous. In the midst of my marriage crisis when I was down and really beating up on myself I remember asking, “Why didn’t I see this coming?” My mentor said, “Because you would not have been able to handle it before now.” She said, “That’s why the road curves. It provides us with the opportunity to take in a little at a time. As we move forward, covering more ground, a little more is revealed to us.”

(Looking at this picture, we don’t know what’s beyond the curve)

That’s how Life works. It’s a process! It gives us what we can handle in small doses, even when we think we’re able to handle more. It’s called the Grace of God. He will not give you more than He thinks you can handle at any one time. Each time we face a challenge, obstacle or difficulty, we learn what we CAN and CANNOT do. No matter what we do, it’s the best we can do under the given circumstances with the information we have at the time. When it’s time to do something different, we will.

Wherever you find yourself is exactly where you need to be.

Deepak Chopra, who at times is a little too deep even for me, said in © The Book of Secrets,
“Whatever relationships you have attracted into your life at any given time, are the relationships you need to be in at that time. When you’re ready to do a new thing, in a new way, you will do it, with new people.”

I read more and more about people who are waiting for their soul mates and loves of their lives, frantically hunting and searching. Realize today that there are people waiting for who you are becoming right now. Chances are you’re not ready to meet them today but have faith because you will, but only when it’s time. Until then, honor your process. Think of how fabulous you’ll be when the time does come.

The road curves for a reason. It’s a process and now when life throws me a curve I smile and say, “If God thinks I can handle it. Who am I to second guess Him?”