Infatuation’s Final Destination

“Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speed-ball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement.
Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore — despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, got-damn it, because he used to give it to you for free.

distraught-woman-Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have ‘that thing’ even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you’re someone he’s never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes.

So that’s it! You have now reached infatuation’s final destination– the complete and merciless devaluation of self.”

Author – Elizabeth Gilbert

I’d like to know what book this excerpt came from.   I ran across it this morning on the internet and thought it was so POWERFUL I just had to share it.   Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of several books, most notably, Eat, Pray, Love.

The message is very clear:  DON’T DEVALUE YOURSELF IN THE NAME OF LOVE.

Thought Provoking #9

Ethics of Life
Before you Pray – Believe!

I’ve always believed in the power of prayer and I really do attempt to pray before things fall apart. It’s human nature to fall to our knees when trouble strikes but we must remember to pray when things are going well also. A pastor told me years ago that if I say nothing except “Thank you Lord” that was sufficient, so I try to start each day by saying Thank you. A little goes a long way. There’s a saying “Leave it at the altar.” Make your request to God known and leave it alone. There are only three responses to our prayers. Yes, No and not right now. Your relationship with God will let you know what the answer is for you. Faith is a powerful thing.

Before you Speak – Listen!

Listening requires a lot of discipline. We’re always busy thinking of our response to the words we hear that sometimes we fail to hear the message being delivered in our conversations with others. I’ve learned that many disagreements could be solved much sooner once we learn how to fully listen.

Before You Spend – Earn!

Credit cards are the root of all evil. Many people will be in shambles come January 2013 when those credit card bills begin showing up because they financed Christmas day. If this economy has had any lesson, it would be: before you spend earn. Imagine how much peace of mind you could have if you weren’t in debt.

Before You Write – Think!

I’m amazed at some of the things I read on Facebook and online in general. It’s easy to sit behind a keyboard and write hateful things to people you don’t know. It’s also very cowardly. The bottom line is that every word you write becomes permanent. Every email, chat, and post becomes permanent. Nothing is sacred online.

Before You Quit – Try!

It’s been said that the moment people get close to success, they give up. The reality is that you can’t be successful if you don’t even try. A New Year is approaching. 2013 could be the year that your dreams finally come true. Maybe it’s time to stop talking and start doing. You just might win. Life is a game but you must be present to win.

Before You Die – Live!

Life is for the living. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “If I died today, would I be satisfied with the life I’ve lived?” That old saying is true – Live each day like it’s your last – it just might be. Live-Laugh-Love.

Changes

 

According to John Maxwell – People only change three times in their life.

       1)    When they HURT enough that they have to change.

      2)    When they LEARN enough that they want to change.

       3)   When they receive enough resources and support that they are ABLE to change.

 

 

So You Want to be Loved

“We have to treat people like we want to be treated – not like we’ve been mistreated.”

There is no higher joy than giving without asking anything in return, especially when we give unconditional love.

Selfishness divides us and we claim superiority over one another in the name of love. Why we have problems loving is because we make love too restrictive. It has too many rules, regulations and expectations. Spiritual love is not about tradition and sentiment. Spiritual love is about truth, trust, acceptance and a willing faith. It’s about seeing God through another person and allowing God to love us through another person.

It’s time to release love from those restrictive boxes.  I can’t complete the picture for someone else. I’m not that strong or Godly. The purpose of relationship is not to have another person complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.

Love is a passion which doesn’t take into consideration any reward, utilization or return. It’s Spiritual – wrapped in total acceptance.

It can be difficult to let go of some of the baggage we carry around with us from one relationship to the next but we need to let it go. Otherwise we will be let go. You can’t start the engine of a new vehicle with the key from your former vehicle.

A relationship needs a foundation and two willing builders.  The outside of a person tells us nothing about what’s inside. We should look at people from the inside out instead of the outside in. That’s why so many people are living lonely lives. Choosing love is not like choosing fruit. The cantaloupe might be smooth on the outside but once you cut it open it’s bitter. The cantaloupes that have the lumps and bumps are usually the ones that are the sweetest.   (read that again!)

Love blossoms where differences are respected and people are allowed to be themselves, rather than something that someone else wants or needs them to be. I can’t be everything for you because I have a hard enough time being enough for myself.  Sometimes we don’t have all the answers. Sometimes we’re wrong.  We need to learn to give up the need to be right. There is no right or wrong…it just is!  For me, that is the essence of spiritual love.

We all have an inherent need to merge with those we love. But we simultaneously desire the comfort of detachment. Love requires a certain amount of freedom. You don’t have to stop living just because you’re sharing a life with another person.  Spiritual love can never be caged.

God is attempting to show us the essence of Spiritual Love. It’s all around us if we would only open our hearts to it. Sometimes we have to take risks. We have to step out on faith. How can we reach out to each other if we aren’t courageous enough to let others see who we really are and what we need?

“……………but the greatest of these is LOVE”
1 Corinthians 13