A mentor once said to me, “You attract what you are!” It was mind-blowing for me. I’d had a few failed relationships that I had a hard time reconciling in my 20s. Why? Why did he hurt me? What did I do? The things I really didn’t like about myself were being mirrored in the relationships I was having. To make a long story short – I grew from those experiences. I learned to stop asking why and wondering for months on end what I did wrong. It’s really a matter of self esteem. As my self esteem grew stronger, because let’s face it, your 20s are the biggest learning curve of your life, my needs, desires and wants grew stronger.
I’m not a big fan of Dr. Phil but I do hold firm to his phrase, “We teach people how to treat us.” If you’re in a no-win relationship step back and do some analysis. The only reason you’re staying is because you’ve subconsciously convinced yourself it’s what you deserve. It must be! You’re still in it but you’re still miserable waiting for things to change. It might sound like a cliche but there is truth in: The only person you can change is you!
If you subconsciously don’t believe that you deserve BETTER, you won’t get it.
Elizabeth Gilbert wrote:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in.”
Happy Valentines Day